Happy Birthday to My Firstborn

Fourteen years ago today I became a Mom for the first time. In honor of my highly intelligent, highly cultured son Colby, I am going to share some tidbits about this day in history.

Music

On March 25, 1998, Will Smith’s "Getting’ Jiggy Wit It" was number one on the Billboard charts. Back in 1971, Tom Jones’ hit “She’s a Lady” goes gold. In 1939, Billboard Magazine introduced hillbilly music later referred to as country. This genre has now become one of the most popular and lucrative types of music in the world.

History

The first demonstration of pancake making occurred on this day in 1882. The demonstration was held in a New York City department store. Voltaire (French Enlightenment writer, historian & philosopher) left the court of Frederik II of Prussia on March 25, 1753. On Friday at 12 P.M. the city of Venice was founded in the year 421. In 1988, "Les Miserables" opened at Chunichi Theatre in Nagoya, Japan. Then in '89, "Les Miserables" opened at Auditorium Theatre in Chicago. And in 1969, John and Yoko Lennon kicked off their honeymoon with a bed-in for peace in Amsterdam.

Birthdays

Elton John – 1947

Aretha Franklin – 1942

Henry II – 1133

Giovanni Battista Amici (Italian astronomer) – 1786

Kate Di Camillo – 1964

Tsar Vasily III – 1479

Flannery O’Connor (my favorite writer (how ironic)) – 1925

Howard Cosell – 1918

The girl & the buffalo

The hairy beast lumbered towards me. Eyes glassy and dark. I hold out my little hand and its nostrils sniffed impatiently. My fingertips grazed its smooth jaw line then palmed his face. I whispered in the ancient language, thanking the beast for arriving.

We set off the two of us. One small human, one shaggy brown buffalo. The hills rolled out before us, its lush green carpet cushioning our steps. 

Endless miles we traveled, before finally the old oak tree lay ahead in the distance. As we moved closer, the bright white of the owl’s wings blinded our sight. His piercing blue orbs seemed to penetrate our very essence. 

I spoke first also in the ancient tongue but it was unnecessary. For Waldymir the Wise used telepathy (conversing with the mind). He saw everything: our strengths, our weaknesses.

He told us few had made the journey. That meant we were protected, chosen. He explained that our kind lay just on the other side of the tall oak. We were needed he said. 

For an evil entity named Edem had ravaged our world. Waldy as I would come to know him explained the horrors that had occurred. The entire planet of Yellgre had almost been annihilated.

I turned to my traveling companion. His tired yet hopeful eyes calmed me. Waldy urged us to believe and know that our dreams shall now be answered.

Family, future, home were all within reach. All we had to do was believe.

Happy St. Patty's Day

I appologize: I AM A TERRIBLE BLOGGER!!

Today is St. Patrick's Day. I am wearing my too cute kelly green shoes. I am ready. Also after work I will be going to my friend Krystal's baby's bday party. Sweet Jorja, she will be one year old. This morning I got in the car and guess what song was playing? Why Georgia on My Mind of course! And it made my already good morning even better.
So I''m wearing my green, no lepruchans will be pinching this girl today.

Here is a song for Jorja:

Happy Birthday from Ireland

On St. Patrick's Day, I was born.
America my home, my heritage unknown.
T'was two years ago on a musical journey
I found Ireland on the wings of a note.

O Ireland, how I long for your valleys and mountains!
How I long to see your hills and streams.
From my home 'cross the ocean, I hear your voice singing,
"Happy Birthday from Ireland, my child of the green!
La la laa, la di la laa, la laa di la la
Happy Birthday from Ireland, my child of the green!"

My Da played the tunes on squeezebox and fiddle.
And the songs they were tuned to the harp in my soul.
St Paddy, ye never told me that I was Irish.
'Till I heard your voice singing, bringing me home.
Now two years have passed and Ireland sings with me.
In every song that flows from my voice and from harp.
But I see your eyes smiling and your arms wide open.
From the way your children open their hearths and their hearts.

Rain

Today is a soggy mess so I wanted to share a haiku to describe the day. It is one from my favorite and probably the most prolific Japanese poet of his time, Matsuo Basho (1644-1694).

Passing through the world
Indeed this is just
Sogi's rain shelter.

*Sogi (1421-1502) was a Japanese poet.

No Sleep til Brooklyn

Insomnia, habitual sleeplessness; inability to sleep, something I personally never thought I would experience. I have to be bright eyed and bushy tailed for work tomorrow. Dang! You would think this would motivate me to try some calming exercises.

I have my ear buds in and Bob Dylan is asking me..How does it feel? Lol Not all that bad really. A complete unknown, like a rolling stone. Hmm yes I kind of like the idea of that.

But what I really want to do right now is lie beneath the stars on my blanket under a harvest moon. I want to listen to some sweet song that says someone is in love with me. And look up at a smiling face. 

I have never realized how much we evolve even daily. I learn new things and gain new perspectives each second. I have been missing music and writing and crafting lately. I have been too sad lately to do very much for myself. 

If I could wish for anything, it would be balance. Balance in everything. And patience. Yes those things would be the most important for me. What about you? Sometimes you read a book or two. Learn a few skills that other people don’t know, start getting big for your britches or you forget everyone doesn’t know what you know.

I don’t want to just anticipate the happiness coming, I want to actually feel it again. I don’t want to feel like an empty shell anymore.  I know that I am trying hard not to push myself. Trying not to increase my anxiety levels. But lordy it’s everywhere. 

I must figure this out. I have to accept my feelings even if they do put such a look on my face that people say…aww you look gloomy today. I was NEVER gloomy before. I always appeared happy and found a way to be silly. Now the very thought of being that way makes me want hurl..violently. 

I know this sounds ridiculous but I just need to find myself again. And I’m making progress, no new tattoo or Mohawk hairdo –yet!

Music is on Vacation

Today I have been wrestling with cd burning. Seems like it would be so easy but no, it’s been one error message after another. I have a stack of 30 and they are slowly dwindling with na da to show for it. 

Anyway, I was thinking about a song in particular which came out in late 1971 (before I was born but then my Daddy didn’t raise no fool). I don’t know if most young people would even know this song—American Pie by Don McLean.

Well from what I have uncovered in a bit of research, the song American Pie includes clear reference to the plane crash in which Buddy Holley, The Big Bopper, and Richie Valens lost their lives. It is also believed that the plane was named American Pie.

However, there are several other references to events of the times. Driving the Chevy to the levee, clearly points to the three civil rights workers in Mississippi who were lynched in 1964. A few references to the Beatles Helter Skelter were also thrown in. 

Then McLean seemed to take a stand against the Rolling Stones. While playing a concert at the Altamont Speedway in 1968, the Stones appointed members of the Hell's Angels to work security. It was there that a young man named Meredith Hunter was beaten and stabbed to death -- by the Angels.

Regardless of the numerous references to injustices and the direction America seemed to be taking, I know the song's emotional significance was unmistakable. McLean was clearly relating a defining moment in the American experience—something had been lost, and we knew it.

I think it is important for artists of all mediums to express the environment around them from their own perspective. A lot of us are still trying to win the rat race, never realizing that the faster you run the less you see. It hurts to see. It hurts to feel. But I have learned there’s no getting around it so I am going to keep it simple. 

Think of things like music and art. Maybe what I could do to help another person when they least expect it. I prefer to stroll. Take in the scenery. It sure is nice out. The music didn’t die, it just went on vacation.

Planets Aligned

There is no time like the present. You hear it said many times. It is a good statement to repeat especially when you are in a slump. What has been given to us is great. It is only ourselves that screw it up. 

I try not to think of the people I so badly miss. I try to think of all the things I am going to do when I see them again. In the spring, planting some pretty flowers around here. Taking a million family photos to fill up the gaps of time lost. I imagine the big hugs, conversation, listening to music together or watching a movie, preparing them a meal-- all things I will never take for granted again.

I feel sometimes like an alien from some planet that has yet to be discovered. I have amnesia and that is why I can’t remember where I am from. I know part of my defects center around not trying. I find that it is true, many things I don’t even attempt because it seems too hard or that I will fail. Tasks have never been easy for me for some reason. I don’t seem to understand that things have a beginning and an end. I’m not sure why that is but I just know that it is keeping me sick in this area of my life.

But the life I used to have is over. I have a new life now and I think that when people experience a true catastrophe that is what happens. We become renewed and our options become greater not less. This is a hope that I hang onto every day, somehow my journey will lead to real healing. That I did not go through this just to shrivel up and die. Even though that is often what I find myself doing.

I think the hardest thing to overcome in life is oneself. I haven’t figured out how to do this yet. But I know I am closer to it than I was two years ago.

It is only in the removal of self, what I want, that is going to bring me true everlasting peace. I know this intellectually but it is also extremely hard to practice. One day at a time. That’s all I have. That’s all anyone has. 

In times of sorrow, remember there’s always tomorrow. In times of gladness, there will also be times of sadness. Ebb and flow. Give and take. There is a reason for every season; it’s up to us to keep going instead of being paralyzed by the why. Just for this moment in time, the planets are aligned. I don’t seek the resolution right now just the experience.